Rythem of the Aquanaut

 
You’re with someone that over time becomes the air you breathe. Suddenly the loss of them is drowning you. Like an aquanaut you begin to explore the deep depths to understand the whys of both yourself and blame. In time you can breathe again, with your own lungs and a real sense of clarity. You inhale freedom, and exhale solitude. You inhale isolation, and you exhale longing. Breathings a rhythm tied to the beat of the heart. Life is music that way, steady drums crush you and love blows through the holes making a melodic tune.  Everyone I’ve ever loved I love in different ways. They become fading baselines.  Ambient sounds of laughter creating pressure over time.  Love is a weapon against darkness in us. Love makes us defenseless before another. The waves of laughter turn to dripping sobs before they crystalize in silence.   In the silence and solitude we fill our lungs with air, learning to breathe and stumble and stand. We scream but we are just one again.  We laugh as one again. We walk as one again, wading out to some new emotion, beyond the safety of the rift,  to lose our breath once more captivated by the same old songs.