Like Odysseus, I am striving to get to a place that feels like home. Sirens come out of the woodwork smiling seductively and chatting with charm laced words to steal my time and sow seeds of doubt in my mind. I'm leaving and I've already started packing. This town is bedrock for broken dreams and dead relationships. Friendships have drown in shallow waters, Life, to me seems too short to stagger about with such parched lips slurping dust for kind words and company. The heat makes people crazy, and its always hot here.
I've got a barrel full of sentiments filling slowly by passerbys. All the friends I've lost are gone, but the friends I've got are quiet. It's like the field of dreams all of the sudden where ghosts are coming out of the cacti once I've started packing. Each one tells me how much they'll miss me, even though they've been a stones throw away for years without a whisper. Their words, like water, drip together into a giant puddle, and I'm laughing at the irony. I'm leaving for colder waters, cooler weather, a blank cheque on all the hope and brightness a man could build.
Perhaps among the tree line, I could pull some of these splinters from my finger tips. These passive pains beneath my skin that remind me of times I've reached out and touched the rough and jagged parts of living.
A man can't run from his problems, and I know it, I've done it and failed. However there is something to be said for the tactical retreat, and a transfer of company. Step away from old drama and tensions, and plunge head first into a survivalists desperation. When I'm out there among the trees in winter, I tend to cling to God with both fists. I'll throw away this tiny empire, because I can, because I am mighty, and am weak. Out there among the tree line, I'll string my bow again and remember how to fight, because somewhere along the way I've forgotten. I'm hunting for peace and company.
Life is not about avoiding pain, nor is it the pursuit of its affliction. I was gifted a great lesson of loss in my young life, of loving people and advice. Fight for the company worth fighting for, while you've got the breath.
